Saturday, September 27, 2008

Less Fattening Potato Salad

I have a recipe for potato salad that is less fattening for you. You get fewer calories too. Basically, take your favorite kind of potato salad and vomit after you eat it. I happened to have some of my mom's potato salad, which I quite like. Coming up, it rated a blue. It is definitely much better going down, but up isn't so bad. I should have chewed the potato chunks better though. They were still a little big. The celery was chopped small enough that I didn't have any problems with those little strings. The onion wasn't too strong, but just strong enough to give it the full flavor coming up. I am not sure how the mayo would have been if it had stayed in my stomach a little longer. As for the vegetable medley and the Italian flavor shake and bake chicken, well I think the color coding speaks for itself. In all fairness, the chicken wasn't good going down so I really shouldn't expect much when it comes up.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Good and the Bad

My wonderful husband sent me a box of Leonidas Belgian chocolate. It is my favorite kind, and if you haven't ever had it, your life is not complete. I LOVE dark chocolate, and this was a dark chocolate assortment. Yum! I was wondering, what will this be like coming back up? Still heavenly! The texture is not the same and I can't slowly savor it, but the taste is still delicious. Could tasting the same chocolate twice be a perk of being pregnant? I wonder how many of the calories I lose? While those are positive aspects, I still hate being pregnant. I can't wait for this baby to be born!

I also ate some mashed potatoes and gravy recently. Yuck! They came up all stuck together even though I didn't have big bites. They felt like they got stuck right at the top of my throat and then would finally come out with a big splashback effect. It's really close to a red, but I guess I will go with yellow because the taste wasn't that bad.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Red or Green, No In Between

Ice Cream Sandwiches, good (both ways)

Ice Cream Sandwiches with Orange Juice, bad coming up.

Guess that shouldn't be any big surprise.

Betty Crocker Cherry Chip cupcakes with Cherry frosting are good, especially the frosting. I love the cherry frosting and have been excited to see it in stores again. For awhile it was hard to come by and I really don't like strawberry. Another great combo (both ways) is double stuff oreos with the cherry frosting on it. I know, sounds odd and probably way more sugar and fat than any person needs in a snack/dessert/breakfast :) but YUMMY! It has been one of my longtime guilty pleasures. I highly recommend it. If you want to cut back on the sugar and fat a little there is always the option of regular oreos instead of double stuff, but do you really think that makes much of a difference? I say go for it.

Thumbs down on the yucky glucose drink they have you take for the gestational diabetes test. It is nasty going down and even worse coming up. I bet it would taste better if they let me have one of my double stuff and cherry frosting cookies. You would think that if I can process that okay I wouldn't need to go the gross drink route. I wonder if anyone has thought of making different options for that test. So stupid anyway because my results are going to be off since I can't keep the gross stuff down. Does anyone listen to me though? No, I am just the barfing pregnant lady.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Spinach and Pepperoni (not together)

If you showed people spinach and asked what color it is, chances are they would say that it is green. That is not the correct answer. Let me assure you that spinach (cooked) is most definitely red. It is the kind of food that makes you wish you had some really long tweezers that you could use to help you reach down your throat and pull it all the way out when it feels like it's stuck. Cooked spinach is kind of a tangled glob of leaves going down. Coming up isn't any better. Not much taste though. I don't put any vinegar or butter or anything on my spinach. Don't know if that would make a difference in taste coming up, but I can't imagine that vinegar would be a good thing.

Red is also the rating for Pepperoni Pizza Lean Pockets. I already knew that pepperoni on pizza (with OJ to drink) wasn't good, so why did I think that it would be okay in a lean pocket? I think it is safe to say I should avoid spicy meats in general.

You Are Feeling Sick...

This morning as I was puking more of the same old, same old, I was watching how some of the stuff floated to the left, some would sink down, some would float... Some things seem to stick together with other things and some things separate. It made me wonder if people use vomit to tell fortunes. Wouldn't that be even better than tea leaves? Vomit is coming from inside of you. Very personal thing.

A quick check with Google didn't bring anything up. Looks like a new field that could be a financial dream come true. In the meantime, here is something to amuse the amateur pukers.

Thursday, September 4, 2008


Okay, so what do elephants have to do with barfing?

A couple of weeks ago, my dad's brother called to talk to him. Since I answered the phone I was able to chat with my uncle for a bit before passing the phone on to my dad. We chatted about my pregnancy and how long nine months can seem. He told me that at least I wasn't an elephant. Twenty-two months would be a very long time to be pregnant.

Yikes! I can't imagine 22 months of pregnancy, but then again... I really didn't see a lot of info on the Internet about elephant pregnancies. What I did find seemed to indicate that until the last few months there aren't any real symptoms. Of course if I were an elephant, I imagine that my pregnancy would be a lot like my human pregnancy.

Obviously I would have to be a zoo elephant. In the wild I would be shunned and forced to leave my herd (group, pack, whatever) because they wouldn't be able to stand me. Me as a pregnant human is bad enough, but as an elephant it would be intolerable. No one could put up with my moods for an entire elephant pregnancy. Alone I would die, end of story. No, I would definitely be a zoo elephant.

Though I can't find any reference to elephants having morning sickness, I know I would have it. That has got to be gross. I am not sure how much an elephant's stomach can hold, but it must be a lot. I think I would make the most of it. I would love to get as close to zoo visitors as I could and puke on them. I don't know how far I could get it to shoot out of my mouth, but I know some of it could spray over. Since as a pregnant human I sometimes get vomit out my nose, I suppose I would sometimes puke out of my trunk if I were an elephant. I would try hard to develop that skill. I even have my primary targets in mind: perky pregnant women. As a human it is not acceptable for me to go up and assault women who seem to actually enjoy being pregnant, but as an elephant I could puke all over them. Those who seemed to feel sorry for my plight would be sprayed with a second round. I wonder if elephants laugh? I would be laughing on the inside at least.

I bet the zoo keepers would pamper me too. I would have great medical benefits and no travel to appointments because they would come to me. I would have free room and board and could probably sleep as little or as much as I wanted. It would be expected for me to gain a huge amount of weight and I am pretty sure that elephants don't have to worry about stretch marks. Who would notice?

Maybe being a pregnant elephant wouldn't be so bad. I bet I wouldn't have to take care of the baby after I gave birth either. People would be lining up to do that. Free daycare... I wonder if I am big and wrinkly enough to pass as an elephant.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Orange Soda

My brother keeps nagging me to update the blog. I tried to explain to him that when I am puking up bile or mixtures complex enough that I can't tell what is what, that it is hard to think of much to say. Puking sucks? Bile is icky? Do you really want to know if I have a preference between cherry and wild berry toaster strudels on the way up (I don't)?

Today I puked up some diet sunkist orange soda. It was like orange flavored bile. Better than plain bile, but not enjoyable, refreshing, or noteworthy enough for a rating. Tonight we are having a chicken taco salad type thing that I do not want to have to review. I love it, but coming up it would be not so great.

I do eat ice cream when Justin does, so obviously this doesn't gross me out. Not exactly related to puking, but something for my brother to watch in this update.